i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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