Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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