I am in a vortex of obligation.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
