Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
