This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
