Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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