Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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