She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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