did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize