Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
