Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
