Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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