The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
