i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
