maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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