So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize