I need help removing her.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
