We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
