brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
