Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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