Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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