i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My vagina is very pro this idea
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
