he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize