I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
