she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I fill condoms, not promises.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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