I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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