dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
