Dual....:-)
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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