I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
