Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
