I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I smell stomach acid.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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