So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
