How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
