omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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