im about as happy as oj after his trial
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
