YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize