i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
