I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
