and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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