I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
