Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
