She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just found puke in my bra..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
