carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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