He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
