So drunk, too bad you don't want this
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
