i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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