You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize