Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
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NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize