Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
