there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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