yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
