I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize