I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
420 ftw
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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