I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
