I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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