Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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