first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
