You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
