Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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